Glitch Feed

post #110 by +peter
February 17, 2007, 4:14 am
Filed under: Gaming as Usual, Glitch Feed Game Development, Totally Random


How do I put this lightly? No, I DON’T want to get drunk tonight and I have a variety of reasons why I shouldn’t! Starting off, this is a Wednesday night, as in I have school all day tomorrow. Thursdays equal academic death. I need sleep to prepare for my collegiate suicide. Parties and sleeping usually end in humiliating pictures and dry erasable penises.

I guess the threat of phallic shapes on my face are not enough to keep me from doing what I know is wrong. I guess knowing what I am about to do is wrong is also not enough to stop me from doing it. Thus the strawberry red margarita hits my face and I begin my descent into sugary debauchery.

At least my intentions were noble. Work more on the game, that was the plan. Steph and I had our little cave rigged up and we were pumping out code like it was coming from an assembly line. She handled the camera and controls while I tinkered with level assets. Development was running smoother than something that was really smooth. It came together in more graceful prose than iambic pentameter. She was William, and I was a knock off Shakespeare.

The story ends with a hang over and fuzzy memories of Mario Party. Actually, fuzzy is an acute over statement. I remember everything perfectly. Perfectly enough for the regret to pile-drive me into bed the next morning, and I can’t open my eyes for risk of my head splitting open and brains covering the walls. Its a bitch to clean up and I doubt my roommate would appreciate it.

I would have preferred the fuzzy memories, that way you can wake up the next morning beside some girl you hardly remember and find that you are wearing each others clothes and not give a shit. “I don’t remember what I did last night, but it must have been awesome!” It wasn’t like that though. No, my unprotected mistake was with a computer generated girl named Daisy, and I remember every sensual moment.

To kill the suspense, I won. I had the most stars at the end. While Mario Party does a decent job leveling out the playing field, when there are two gamers with years of experience versus a couple Game Cube virgins, the mini games tend to roll in our favor.

Steph and I exchange blows in Mario Party. She will win one game and I will utterly obliterate her in the next. It’s a pretty fair exchange. What is not as fair however, is how Gillian (the third cutest Asian I know) and her boyfriend Dan (is he still in a frat?) always end up fighting for worst place.

Its not like they aren’t deserving of first, Dan has such a big, competitive heart when it comes to these games. A mini game such as, Toad’s Tickle Ponies will really froth up his gamer’s spirit. “C’mon team, we fuckin GOT this one! I OWN in this game! Lets DO IT!”

He will hit A and B repeatedly, and he will wiggle his virtual digit, but Steph will manage to bring the digital pony into hysterics first. This defeat will not push Dan over the edge, for he will remain calm. He will take a special moment and recalculate what went wrong and mentally prepare himself for the next time. A time when he might have a chance to redeem himself. A chance to bring honor to his family and make his girlfriend proud. A chance that would allow him to once again proclaim that he IS a man and he WILL dominate his opposition! He will probably want to finish his strawberry margarita first.


6 Comments so far
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Daisy has no belly-button!!!

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